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Hello my dear readers, I have all but abandoned this blog. Sometimes life happens, and sometimes it happens in a huge way. We lost a dear loved one early Easter morning, my second father, my father-in-law. Dad passed away abruptly and to say that we were shell shocked would be an understatement. The days that followed were just fast and furious with the demands of all the arrangements that needed to be made. Everything had to be swift. We literally had no time to catch our breaths and wrap our heads around the magnitude of our loss. C is the only child which makes me the only daughter-in-law and T is the only grandchild. God’s Divine Providence was apparent as he helped broken-hearted immediate family members manage through the arrangements and services in the thick of a flurry of logistical and administrative matters. Family and friends rallied behind us, some drove from miles away, which is reflective of how much Dad is respected and endeared. We were just amazed on how people went out of their way to ensure that they got to see Dad for the last time. Words fail us to convey how touched we were of such gestures.
We’ve worked with wonderful people along the way and they deserve special mention:
Patrick Hull of Hull’s Chapel- They were referred to us early morning by a kind officer. From the get-go, Patrick’s demeanor is perennially calm. It was our first time to handle such matters for the family so we needed "hand holding" so to speak through the process. He was very patient with our inquiries and we never felt hurried or pressured, more so a mere statistic to this 100 years old family establishment. There really is something to be said about their experience and continued service to the community. Patrick’s sensitivity to our concerns was quite impressive. He made sure that all the set-up were carried out according to our specifications (from the obit, reception, AV needs, etc.), truly an all-around guy. Their staff member, Martin, was a joy to work with as well. When everything was said and done, we felt that their collective sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate some of the sorrow went beyond good customer service. We cannot recommend them enough. Judging from how these gentlemen conducted themselves, Hull’s future is both secure and bright. Here’s their website.
Father Donie O’ Connor of Christ the King Church- On deciding which church we were going to have the funeral mass, we called Christ the King Church in Walnut Creek. We were hoping that Father Donie would agree to do it and we were happy that he did. We have always been fascinated by the light-hearted-but-still-get-the-lesson-across culture of Christ the King (CTK) Church. They make you truly looking forward to the homily every week because they are cohesive, relatable and quite often, heart-warming. As Oprah would say, there is an A-ha! Moment, consistently, that's how it is for CTK. Another good thing about Father Donie is that he is quite musical which is very compatible to Dad’s musical ways as well. Father Donie prepared and officiated the vigil/rosary as well and he kept attendees, like during his homilies, engaged. Brevity and little bit of levity came hand in hand for the vigil/rosary and garnered very positive feedbacks from family and friends. He likewise presided a beautiful funeral mass the following morning with songs and readings he helped us choose. God could have not shown his merciful hand better to us than providing us guidance in grief and healing through Father Donie. We will miss Father Donie as he embarks on a new adventure with a different parish but likewise feel deeply honored that we came to know him. He will remain as a wonderful part of our family history. Such a cool fella.
God is good, all the time.
Here is the transcript of my tribute to Dad during his vigil/rosary night that I wanted to share:
First of all, we want to express our sincerest gratitude to everyone who are here to join us at this time and all that have sent their deepest condolences from all over and through every social media possible. I am Carlson's wife and Dad's daughter- in-law. As most of you can attest, getting particular in identifying happy moments with Dad is a challenge in itself as he generously provided all of us a treasure trove of fond memories with him. So I decided then to deconstruct what might be my all time fave picture of Dad and my son Tyler. This was taken last Halloween when they were a tandem of the major characters of the movie, UP. They were such a hit at the mall, people were requesting to take pictures of them, we were very proud of them, we all had fun.
Let me start with the balloons aloft as I feel this represents the lightness of Dad's being. Dad always had an abundance of warmth and kindness with anyone he met and became part of his life. He just manages to lift up your spirit when he smiles, he’s like this teddy bear, soft and fluffy. His sunny disposition was very contagious. Having lost my own father early on, I know that I am fortunate that I have found a second father in him. He treated and cared for me like his own. In more ways than one, I didn’t feel like a daughter-in-law, more like a daughter, period. Which is why being vanguards to his best interests, for us, was non-negotiable.
The vivid hues of the balloons also signifies the colorful and bright life that he led and fully enjoyed. He was an explorer at heart, as an example, what we consider as the mundane task of driving, for dad it gave him utmost enjoyment. Most of you can relate and have personal stories to this, of him being a reliable driver to anyone's schedule, may it be after school, or a job interview, doctor's appt, city tour, BART pick-up or even retail therapy, casino run, whatever it was, he will make himself available to you. He also has been our travel buddy all these years. I love that he was just willing and so game to be the subject of our wacky travel shots, as you have seen in the video montage earlier. I love that whenever we saw some majestic view for the first time, he will complete our experience by singing something very apt in the background. He won't do it half-heartedly too, he will fully commit to entertain. Our travel video archives, like the one that Carlson just showed, are usually filled with chuckles in the background.
The inevitable direction of the balloons and the title of the movie, which is UP, represents the kind of optimism that Dad had. Amidst some of life's significant storms, we knew that as long as we were together and genuinely looked out for each other, we will make it through. Even the day of his passing, Easter Sunday, there was still something light and hopeful about it.
The wheel chair that he used here is before he underwent hip surgery and denotes the support that he was able to receive, when his own personal human endurance had some scarcity. To this I will always hold my mother-in-law, Francisca, in high esteem because she never left Dad's side ever since he was diagnosed with Addison's disease early in their marriage up to his last bout with pain a few days ago. Ma at the midst of trials and tribulations, was unwavering and loyal. Dad and Ma's personalities, as most of you know, may have been a study in contrast, thesis worthy actually, but our dear Lord made them find each other and made them complement each other. True love that they have shown not only with sharing crepes in Paris, or walking hand in hand in our travels but more so in taking care of each other, against all odds, and when one's strength needed to be enough for two and more importantly for their son. Ma, You are a pillar of strength, a super woman and a rock star in our book. You made true to your vow that in sickness and in health, you were going to be there and you did.
I would be remiss to speak of steadfast character and amazing support if my husband, Carlson, would not be in the forefront likewise. From being the basketball-analyzing/newspaper-providing/nike pair-giving son to the caregiver/coach/Tony Robbins-esque motivational speaker son for dad as he recovered from his recent hip replacement surgery, It was nothing but love of a child to his father. As we talked about a few weeks ago, I want you to remember that Tyler and I are collectively , and, tremendously proud of you for the way you took care of Dad. I know that Dad shared this immense pride of the man you are. You are a good son not because you are his sole offspring, as it is not only flesh and blood, but heart which makes fathers and sons.
Lastly, Tyler as Dad's partner in crime in this Halloween image depicts Dad in all his grandfather glory and regalia. Willing and enthusiastic to do anything to have a good time with his grandson. Tyler calls him wowo for lolo (grandpa in tagalog). As family and friends have come to know, It took Carlson and I sometime to expand our family. Dad and Ma have been lifelong members of our prayer brigade and accompanied us in our journey to the Holy Land with this fervent request up until our prayers were answered. So whenever Carlson and I will see this picture, this will be a constant reminder and testament of God's compassion and generosity, in giving us the opportunity to share Tyler with Dad.
Dad, I miss you everyday already. I promise that you will not be forgotten especially by Tyler. He will know that you are a wonderful man and is an integral part of who he is and who will be. We will take care of Ma and each other as we always have done, always solid, titanium and tight. Please take our love and utmost respect with you as you join our mighty creator. Again, thank you to all of you. The overwhelming support we received, from you, family and friends from here and all over US, from the Philippines, Australia and Canada is most humbling for us. As Father Donie mentioned earlier, we are standing on your shoulders as our individual strengths are tested at this time, thank you for letting us. Our sincerest gratitude for honoring Dad in such a sincere and heart-felt manner.
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